England's Naked Dream
by ProfessorDumbleBrows
Summary: England had a very... Strange dream. Nakedness, countries, tomatoes, blood, vodka and beer, aliens, roses, world meetings, and of course more nakedness. I fail at writing summaries, just R&R please! Rated T for nakedness xD. PURE CRACK! Ha-ha-ha!


**Author's Note: Well I uploaded this before but my computer became a douche and became haywire. So it deleted itself o.e... And now I upload this again! Also I fixed it up, but it was hard to fix it because it was random paragraphs. If you hate its spelling or grammar or dialog... Then you're very critical and it makes America sad..! Anyway, this was a collaboration with a friend of mine! We took turns writing. Before it was in paragraph form, but I fixed it so it was more "professional". Long author's note is long... ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Hetalia. If I did than this fiction would have happened in the show!**

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><p><strong>England's Naked Dream<strong>

England was on the porch of his house and was drinking tea. The surroundings were peaceful and quiet until a certain American showed up wearing nothing but white buttoned cuffs on his wrist and a black bow tie around his neck. England's eyes widen and he began choking on his tea.

America smiled dorkily, running up to England as he put his hands on his shoulders, yelling stupidly, "Yoo! England! Whats up! Its kinda cold today right!" His glasses were crooked, and he had a large smile on his face, as he stood naked before England, practically jumping up, and down.

The tea cup dropped out of England's hands and his face turned a dark shade of red. He tried to look at anything but the American. Instead of looking away, his attention was caught when he noticed 'Florida' was jumping along with America. America stopped his hyper act and tilted England's head up so they could look into each other's eyes.

"See something you like?" America said with a wink.

England's face stayed the dark shade of red, as he looked up into America eyes, feeling both nervous, and aggravated as he winked at him, He spoke with a slight stutter, "Eh.. No.. Of c-course not! Why would you think that!"

He tried to turn his face away from the Americans, but he was still directly in front of him so all he could really do was glance over at him every couple of seconds, before saying, "But anyways, w-what do you want, A-America..?"

America grinned and moved his face closer to England's. He moved his head slightly so their lips were almost touching and said, "What I want is... You're TV."

England was right away filled with annoyance and tried to push America back, unable to move him very far. America took a few steps back and laughed his annoying laugh, "Ha-ha-ha~!"

England was still blushing darkly, as he glared at the American that was laughing annoyingly he cringed slightly, hating the sound, as he sighed, "America... Why aren't you wearing clothes..?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to keep his eyes on his face, but they wandered down his body, before sticking back up at his face. America tilted his head to the side in question, "Huh? What do you mean? You're the one not wearing clothes!"

Now it was England's turn to tilt his head. He looked down at his body and saw he was dressed in his sexy butler's outfit which was only made up of the wrist cuffs, bow tie, and a waist apron with nothing under it. America laughed again, making England's head jerk up. America was fully clothed, but how was that? Suddenly a whale dropped from the sky and landed in England's backyard causing both men to jump in shock.

America ran to the whale and hugged it while making strange noises. "Nyahhh... Mmmm... Haaaaaa... Hehhh..."

England stared confusedly at the whale, wondering to himself '_What...? What just happened..?'_ He looked down, looking at his clothing, shaking his head, he had absolutely no clue why he was dressed like this, and more importantly how America was now more dressed than he was. England was about to stand, and approach the American that was making strange noises as he hugged the whale, but remembered he was practically naked.

He just shook his head, and picked up his chair, hiding the backside of him, before going over to the whale, and sitting next to it, murmuring, "How..?" He just shook his head again, and poked the whale to see it disappear in a cloud of smoke, leaving a figure in the smoke, but he couldn't tell what it was.

Once England's fingertip poked the whale, the whale turned into a cloud of smoke, causing America and England to cough. They both waved their hands around to clear the air. Once the air was clear, the smoke left behind France. But there was a problem... France was naked with only a rose covering his front vital regions.

England's and America's eyes widen at this and France smirked, "Oh hon hon hon, Bonjour!"

Suddenly America started laughing and pointed towards France's rose. "Dude! Is you package so small it can be hidden behind a tiny rose?"

England tried not to laugh, but instead coughed quietly, "America! That is quite rude, to make fun of someones.. eh package! Especially sir France's!" He shook his head, his eyes still showing surprise, as he tried to focus on something else as he mumbled to himself, "Why is everyone showing up **naked**!" He grumbled before adding in, "and especially why naked... at **MY** home!"

He placed his palm on his forehead, before looking between the two of them, to see that America was yet again naked again, as he turned away from him entirely, his face dark red, from seeing both of them naked before him.

America looked down and his eyes widen. "W-Why the hell am I naked?"

France looked over at America and smirked, "Oh hon hon hon. Looks like little America grew up! In more ways than one too..."

France's eyes trailed down the American's tan body and landed on his exposed member. England's eye twitched as he saw France approaching America. 'Please don't rape him in my backyard...' England thought.

As France took one more step closer to America, invading his personal space, Spain and Prussia jumped out from a tree and ran over to him. "_Mi Amigo! Hola!_" Spain said with a grin.

"Dude, why are you naked?" Prussia asked, backing away.

England stepped over towards Spain, and Prussia, shaking his head, "I don't know why they are, but Please.. PLEASE. Don't let France rape America in my backyard..."

He shook his head again and saw Russia walking over towards them, thankfully fully clothed with vodka in his hands. But... it seemed like there was sunflowers dancing around him as he was smiling, then spoke to them, "Who wants to drink vodka, Da~?"

England sighed, hanging his head down low, as he mumbled, "Why... Why do we need to involve alcohol now..?"

"No! Beer is better than vodka!" Prussia yelled out.

Spain and England's eyes widen as they started shouting words about 'not going against Russia'. Meanwhile, America was running around the yard away from France.

Russia turned to Prussia with an innocent smile and said, "You think beer is better than vodka?"

Prussia nodded and walked over to Russia, standing as straight as he could to make himself seem taller. Russia just smiled and smashed the thick glass vodka bottle over his head, causing the German to knock out and fall over.

France laughed evilly as he leaped onto America, keeping him down on the ground before moving his mouth to America's neck. England looked at them for a moment before mumbling, "Well I guess that cant be helped.."

He shook his head before going over to Russia and Prussia. He glanced over at Russia nervously before nodding silently and dragging Prussia over to a nearby tree. England laid him under it and sighed for all he could smell was vodka on the German. He could feel Russia's presence as he walked over to him.

"Would you like some vodka, da?"

England's eyes widened a bit in fear, as he shook his head slightly. "E-Eh.. Sure... Thank you, Russia.."

Russia smiled and opened his large coat. England saw Russia was completely naked under the coat and he sweat-dropped. Russia pulled out a bottle of vodka from his inside pocket.

"Vodka is good, you see. It makes a man! Unlike the German's silly beer. I would like to see beer to that to someone." Russia motioned the bottle to Prussia and Prussia was on the ground with his head bleeding.

"Bloody Hell! When did he start bleeding?" England shouted.

Spain hung upside down from a tree branch over England and met his green eyes with his own. "About five minutes ago.~~~ Right after he was hit!~~~ See the trail of blood?~~~" Spain pointed at the blood spots on the ground.

England panicked slightly, staring at the trail of blood. It was already bad enough he had already been surprised by Russia being completely naked, but now this. He shook once more in disbelief his head and said, "H-How! W-When did..? I should have seen that! Gah! Now there is a trail of blood in my backyard!"

He looked at Spain and Russia with an annoyed look, then brushed past Russia, staring at the blood trail.

"Great! Now I have to clean this up to!" England looked over to France and America and became even more annoyed at what he saw.

"France! Stop raping America!" He shouted, before he face-palmed.

"Dude get the hell off me!" America yelled after.

France sighed and got off. He looked around and saw Romano hiding behind the tree Spain was hanging and swinging – Spain: Weee – from. France started creeping up behind the Italian and grabbed him back by his shirt. Romano let out a high pitched scream and started flailing around in France's arms.

"Oh hon hon hon!"

Spain jumped from the tree and kicked France away, causing him to fly into the next backyard.

"You Tomato Bastard!" Romano yelled, "Why weren't you looking after me?"

Spain grinned and said, "I was busy...~~~" And by that he meant he was swinging on the tree branch. Romano scowled then let out a loud laugh when Spain was crushed by a giant tomato that fell from the sky. England looked over at the tomato and let out a noise of shock and anger. '_Where is all of this coming from?'_ He thought.

America stood up to see Prussia on the ground bleeding, "Dude! This is awesome! I think he's gonna die!"

He laughed annoyingly, putting his hand on England's shoulder, "Ain't this great?"

An alien suddenly started walking across the yard and picked up America. The alien threw the America to the next yard and disappeared. The first thing that went through England's mind was, '_Good riddance. But... What just happened?'_

With that thought out of the way, Netherlands and Japan were strangely and happily skipping across the yard towards them. Japan waved calmly and said, "Herro everyone, how are you today?" They were both naked as they stood next to each other, their faces completely serious.

"And more naked people..." England muttered to himself.

Russia was poking Prussia's dying body, Romano was taking pieces of the tomato that crushed Spain, England tried to ignore the newly arrived naked duo, and America and France were gone. On top of all that, HE WAS STILL IN HIS BUTLER'S OUTFIT WITHOUT KNOWING HOW!

England sighed deeply and looked around his backyard. _'What else could possibly go wrong?'_ He thought.

"Pastaaaaaa!~~~~~" Was suddenly heard as Italy jumped from the roof of the porch and landed in front of England... Naked. Of course.

England's eyes widen in shock and twitched as he saw Italy run to his brother and tackle him onto the ground, getting into a very misleading position... He shook his head again, watching Italy speak to his brother. Although, his brother just seemed to ignore him coldly. He then thought nothing could possibly go wrong after that, but then he then heard a thick accent come from behind him.

"Italy! What do you think you are doing to him!" Germany walked around England, also naked but it wasn't much of a surprise anymore. Germany picked up Italy and walked away from the crowd of people.

England mumbled "Please don't rape him Germany." Italy just put his arms out as he was being carried over the German's shoulder and said, "Weee~!"

_'Well... At least that's another problem was taken care of...' _England thought. _'Why is everyone coming into my backyard NAKED? The only one who came clothed was Spain, Romano, Prussia, and in a way Russia...'_

England closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he opened his eyes he saw Spain was in front of him – very close at that – and his emerald eyes sparkled with sunshine and squigglies.

"Something wrong _mi amigo_?~~~" Spain asked.

England knitted his eyebrows together. "Everyone is..." His voice faded when he saw the rest of Spain's body, noticing he was also naked. "NAKED? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"

Spain looked down at himself and laughed softly, "I find this more comfortable!~~ Ask _Mi Romanito_! I walk around the house like this all the time!~~~~~~~"

He face-palmed, a sweat drop appearing as he looked at Spain. "Isn't that you know... Dangerous around Romano..?"

He looked around now EVERYONE was naked. He just pinched the bridge of nose, turned around, and said, "Never mind.." Then wandered towards his house. Walking inside, he closed the door and saw a fairy floating in the air. "Not now, Tink."

He sighed and kept walking, making his way up the stairs. "I _really_ need to go change..." he looked down to see he was still in his Sexy Butler outfit. He really did not enjoy being in it at the moment. England walked up to his bedroom and approached his closet looking for something to wear. Anything was better than his sexy butler outfit, which he still didn't know why he has it in the first place.

"Hello England..." A deep and seductive western accent spoke from a distance behind England.

The British male turned around to see America on the bed with a sign on his chest saying "TAKE ME NOW! ;D"

England's eye twitch as it was a tempting offer, but instead he said, "America... _**Get the hell out of my room, out of my house, out of my town, and out of my country!**_"

America shrugged and snapped his fingers. He turned into a bunny and hopped out the room. _'...What the...?' _The Briton thought.

England just shook his head and turned back to his closet. He opened the door and found France was there, naked of course! He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, and sighed. "What do you want, France..?"

France smirked, moving his hand to England's chin, "Well you of course~!"

He pressed his lips to England's, before England shoved him away and yelled, "_**Get the hell out of my room and take Russia with you!**_" He pointed to Russia sitting by the window with a bottle of vodka in his hand, who was smiling cutely.

France pouted and walked out of the closet. He grabbed Russia by his scarf and they both jumped out the window. England turned back to his closet and thought he saw another naked person. He could almost see someone with wavy blond hair and violet eyes but after blinking a few times he couldn't see the figure anymore. With a shrug he grabbed a set of clothing that was already on a hanger and changed into the clothes.

"Well now that I'm chan–" England was cut off when a group of male voices called out his name from behind.

"Oh England!" America, Russia, France, Canada, Spain, Romano, Italy, Germany, Netherlands, Japan, China, Greece, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Turkey, Austria, a healed Prussia, Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, Belarus, Hungary, Belgium, and Seychelles (basically every country...) called out. England turned around slowly and saw the group of people. And guess what. THEY WERE ALL NAKED!

England felt a sweat drop appear before he turned. He looked at them to notice they were all naked. With a sigh, he shook his head and looked away.

"One, why are you all in my house! And two, why the bloody hell are you all naked!"

England looked down at himself to see if he was still clothed and let out a sigh of relief when he saw he was sill wearing his clothes. '_If I lose my clothes again, I am going to be angry... Especially with ALL of them here!'_

America suddenly appeared next to England, naked, and whispered into his ear. "England... Wake up.."

England faced America and lifted an eyebrow. "Wake up? How can I wake up if I'm not sleeping?"

America repeated for him to wake up and started fading into nothing. England looked around and saw everything before him fade to black.

x X x X x X x

England gripped the bed sheets covering him and his eyes snapping open to see America next to him, smiling.

"Dude! You awake?" He looked around the room and shivered as he felt the soft cold fabric brush against his bare skin. He was naked under the sheets, with the exception of his boxers. Still better than being fully naked. '_Just a d-dream..?' _England thought before he looked at America.

"America, why are you here!" He looked at America, confused, and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Oh well... You got drunk before the world conference and passed out before it even started. After the meeting I brought you to your house to make sure you were okay."

America looked at England with soft blue eyes, without the glasses, and a small smile. England closed his eyes and sighed. "What happened at the meeting?"

America looked to the side and said, "It doesn't matter. But I wish you would wake up for once, England."

"W-What?" The older male's vision started blurring and turned to black.

x X x X x X x

England opened his eyes and found himself staring at his arm. He lifted his head and found everyone around the large round desk of the conference room, looking at him.

England blushed, looking back at around at everyone and questioned, "W-Wait, I fell asleep!"

He continued to look around, not having memory of falling asleep, or even going to the meeting at all! He looked around the table to see everyone staring at him, and thankfully fully clothed. England closed his eyes and heard America was laughing quietly at him.

He sighed then mumbled, "America. Be quiet."

England opened his eyes and said, "Eh.. So where were – " His words immediately stopped when he looked around once more and found them all naked. England's eye twitched at the site, reliving his dream.

He just shook his head and said, "E-Eh... So... Where were we...?"

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><p><strong>Please Review and link this to ya friends and or family members! Ha-ha-ha!<strong>

**If I get like... 10 or 15 reviews within a week, then I'll make another chapter with mah friend!**

**Okay, ciao~**


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